Entering the work of therapy can be daunting for many. Often, it takes time and courage to even reach out and make that initial contact, to ask for professional help. It’s encouraging to know that in reading this, you have already begun to summon that courage, take responsibility, and invest in your life and wellbeing. You can mobilize this to fully enter the process and thus reap the greatest benefit from our work together.
Over the years, I have noticed some client tendencies, behaviors, and attitudes that have both contributed to and detracted from the therapeutic process. It is my hope that in reviewing and discussing these factors, that we may set the course toward your success and satisfaction during and at the conclusion of our work. Therapy can be accelerated and be a greater vehicle for potential transformation.
1. Treat therapy as a serious investment. I take it seriously and I expect that you will too. I will be as involved in your commitment and dedication as you are. The less you are invested, the less you will get out of the experience.
2. The progressive momentum of therapy is supported by consistency. Normally and ideally, I start by seeing clients weekly. If there are factors that make this unfeasible, the greater importance lies in maintaining agreed-upon regularity of appointments, regardless of specific frequency.
3. Ambivalence is often a part of life, but can have negative impacts here. It frequently shows up as undecidedness and mixed feelings about therapy, reluctance to come to session, and excessively cancelling or rescheduling sessions.
4. Certain qualities that you cultivate in our work tend to support the process: a willingness to explore, openness, being directive and engaged in your
own process, and looking inward to find solutions to problems.
5. Be involved and active in-between sessions. When clients check-in during sessions only and do not practice bridging our work during the rest of the week, therapy will be fragmented, circular (“I’m not getting anywhere”), repetitive, and frustrating. The most successful therapies become a sustained job in which awareness, investigation of the self, and experimentation with different forms of experiencing and relating are always on.
I encourage you to take some time to reflect upon the following questions before our first meeting:
Am I ready to do this work? Timing, means, and support that will sustain our work are all factors of consideration. If you are not feeling as ready as you’d like, a more helpful question is, “What can I do to approach readiness?”
Have I defined the parameters and goals of what I am seeking help with? I work with individuals with small, well-defined problems (eg: “I want to have less conflict with my wife”, or “I would like to be able to feel comfortable speaking in front of others”), as well as those who are pursuing a restructuring of their life, outlook, or ways of experiencing the world, and all that comes between. What matters most is your clarity of knowing and expressing the field
of our inquiry and what you want out of therapy.
What interferences can I identify to fully entering this work? Rarely do we have complete readiness or all the qualities that contribute to effectiveness. However, developing self-knowledge around specific interferences you bring to our work is extremely helpful. I am more than happy to help you assess this and we can work together to soften or overcome your particular barriers and resistance.